Mumsy's Musings

A Good Day

2010-01-31T11:11:00.000-08:00

Friday was a good day. I picked up Dad and took him to see Mom down in her new residence. He has been really down lately because he misses Mom so much. He commented that he really doesn't have anything more to live for... now that Mom was settled. I know that he is also old, 87, but I want so badly for him to find joy in the final years of his life. He says that "it is so hard after 61 years of being with someone everyday of your life to not have them here. I reach over for her in the middle of the night and when she is not there I just get so sad. This is not home with your mom not here," and so forth. I know it is just a natural course of the mourning process, but none the less, it breaks my heart to pieces. But... as I was saying, Friday was a good day. The care-givers (Bing and Al) at Mom's home had asked that Dad stay away for awhile to let her have time to get adjusted to her new life. So he did. So by the time we got there on Friday, they were both so excited to see eachother. Dad had gotten all dressed up and Laurie, bless her heart, had gone down early to fix Mom's hair, (which anyone who really knows my Mom was always of supreme importance to her.) When they saw eachother, Dad practically ran to her like a love-sick teenager, and they held hands and put their heads together and just told eachother how much they missed eachother and that they loved eachother. As their heads stayed connected for some time, I couldn't hold back the tears and I had to walk outside for a minute and cry to Cheryl on the phone. (Side note: One of the wonderful things about going through this very difficult time is the bond that it has created between my siblings and myself. I have always adored them, but now we really need eachother to face this trial. Interesting.) Back inside the cuddling continued. I don't think they let go of eachother's hand for the entire time (almost 4 hours) that we were there. Mom was quite lucid and very sweet. She still knows us all pretty well and she misses Dad as much as he misses her during her times of awareness. My cousin Gail came in a played a little chelo concert for us and the ladies and it was great! What a talent! Eventually, Mom got too tired and when asked if she wanted to go have a nap she instantly said "no" but within a few minutes she fell over on Dad's lap and that was it. Al came in to take her to her room. Dad followed and had about a half hour alone with her. He told me later that he asked her if she was happy there and she said she was. She told him that the people are really nice to her there. I went in after he came out and my sweet little mom was lying there, snoring away. I told her goodbye and took Day on a Costco run. Fun! What a great day! I'm sure that Dad's mind was put at ease knowing that Mom was happy enough and the she missed him too. It will be hard for Dad if she ever forgets him, although I know that her mind would really have to be "gone" for that to happen. They are so connected. My wish for me and for all those who read this blog, is that we all have the loving and enduring relationship that my sweet partents have. It has not always been perfect by any means... but love your spouce with all your heart so that 61 years later you can hold hands, lean into eachother's faces and tell eachother how much you love and miss them. Eternity is just moments away.

Family

2010-01-17T13:53:00.000-08:00

I love my family. They are the center of my life and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. I would even brave the Friday afternoon traffic from Santa Barbara to Orange County to be with them and spend the evening at Disneyland during one of it's most crowded nights all while suffering silently. I got to see the love of my life, Eli at the D-land. I was able to see Carly and Chad's new apartment, which was awesome and Carly and I hung up some wall stuff to make it more like home. We went to see Erin play quarterback in her powder-puff football game which was also great fun. We checked out a beach house in Newport that we would like to rent for a week this coming summer. And we ended the two day adventure with a visit to my mom and dad in Glendora. Mom is settled in her new group home for the elderly and can now receive visitors. She is doing so well... even showed us how she can walk alittle and she is getting wonderful care and is happy. Everything we could hope for... except that Dad is home without her and he is extremely sad and depressed. We visited with him at the house after we saw Mom and he is not happy at all and tells me "his life is over, now". Note to self... don't put my kids through that when I get as old as dirt.

2009-11-22T07:44:00.001-08:00

I am the worst blogger ever! I have to catch onto this new way of communicating. It is hard for those of us who grew up without the benefit of even cell phones. Can't imagine that! When I grew up we wrote these things called "letters" with a pen and everything. We mailed them down at the local post office, after having searched the "junk drawer" for an 11 cent stamp, (unless of course you were sending a postcard which was 5 cents.) My parents used to send me out the door with a dime in my shoe, just in case I needed to call them from a "payphone" for a ride home. My first dealings with a computer were in a class at BYU where we had these "punch cards" in which we punched tiny little rectangles out to feed the enormous, classroom sized computer to get back data which I couldn't understand. We've come a long way, baby. And I'm old.

Road Trip

2009-08-08T12:07:00.000-07:00

On the way home from our road trip to Montana. It was wonderful to see God's country and visit dear friends. BJ and Shannon had a great time at EFY. I love that program!

Rexburg Idaho temple. Byron took this beautiful picture.

Byron and I at Glacier National Park.

2009-04-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

2009-04-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

I am so new to this"blogging" thing that I really don't know what to do. All I do know is that enjoy reading my kids blogs and they have been wanting some of my "veggie" recipes so I will try to get acquainted with it quickly.

Christmas 2008

2009-01-03T07:40:00.000-08:00

We have had a fabulous Christmas and New Year's. We have been surrounded by our kiddies... even all together for a few days surrounding Christmas. A mother's dream. Our special gift this year was, of course, having our little Eli join us here on earth. I waited a long time for him and he is such a perfect joy! We were also able to spend some time getting to know Brad better. (Alexa's husband). He is so great! What a personality. He really comes to life when playing games. He fits right in with the competitive Eltons. He even won the final "Elton Holiday Ping Pong Tournament". What a guy!

We did a temple session together as we witnessed Lauren Hodson receive her endowments and yesterday we were able to witness her sealing to Douglas Cassada in the New Port Beach temple. It is weird seeing all these kids grow up. It seems like yesterday that Lauren was eight years old. Time flies by at this point in life. The older I get, the faster it flies.